Confident
by Vendredii
Summary: {Rolivia} Hurricane Hanna hits New York, bringing the two women of SVU together in Amanda's apartment. This wouldn't be such a difficult task if Amanda could stop staring. But Amanda's confident she can control herself. Will this storm bring them together, or will it tear them apart for good? What will the aftermath hold?
1. Chapter 1

_Just one day in the life_

_So I can, understand_

_Fighting just to survive,_

_But you taught me I can_

_.x._

Running. It was something she had been able to do since she could walk. It was something she always resorted too since the day she turned 11. It was the sport she played throughout middle school, high school and parts of college along with softball. Running had been where she picked up her tall and slender figure, not that she was trying to achieve it. Sports and Running had been stress reliever. Either from her family, from stress or overcoming her addiction. There were two types of running she partakes in, running for exercise, and running from her problems. Amanda Rollins never thought she'd able to do both at once.

Amanda Rollins locked her apartment door and inserted her silicone ear buds into her ears. She loved Sundays for this very reason; the peacefulness of the sun and the smiles worn by couples and families. After showering this morning, the junior detective dressed in a pair of neon pink and grey running shorts, grey running shoes and a neon pink hoodie. Along with her phone secured to her forearm with her ear buds firmly in her ears, already blasting music.

She began making her way towards the stairs. She half jogged, half ran down the 4 flights of stairs of her apartment building.

The cool early August air blew harshly, taking red-ish-orange leaves along with it. And the occasional empty Starbucks coffee or abandoned _Times_ newspaper. The 8 am sun shone onto the otherwise dark streets of New York. On the outside, it looked like a peaceful day, in a peaceful world, where everyone was happy. Amanda didn't get ahead of herself. She starting running and didn't look back for a second.

_.x._

By the time she had returned to the lobby of her apartment building almost an hour later, the wind had picked up a terrible pace and a light drizzle began. Had Amanda been wearing running pants instead of shorts, she would've continued running. The cold never really bothered her any way.

Just as she had opened her apartment door, her phone buzzed from within its arm strap.

"Rollins." She answered without checking the caller ID as she threw her arm strap on her coffee table.

"_We caught a case. Two young girls found death in their apartments by a maid." _Nick's voice was something she was used too. And she wasn't surprised by it; they were only two on call that day.

"Hm." Amanda said to herself removing her slightly damp hoodie. "Where at?"

"_Gee, Amanda. For a detective, you don't pay much attention." _

"What?" Nick had been becoming a head case to her lately, but now he was just being confusing.

"_Look out your window."_

Still confused, Amanda made her way barefooted towards her living room window, which gave a great view of the street below. She pulled back one of her black curtains, and she realized what Nick meant. The red and blue sirens were unmistakable. Along with the 4 patrol cars outside the apartment building across from hers. The drizzle she had left outside earlier was now replaced with a downpour.

Amanda remembered she still had her phone to her ear. "Right, give me 20 minutes."

"_You better hurry before IAB gets down here—and speak of the devil."_

"Copy that." Amanda quickly hung up her phone. Nick mentioning IAB left her imagination running wild at what he meant.

Amanda's mind continued to guess at why IAB could've been there. It wasn't like it was uncommon, but although Tucker was an ass; he couldn't exactly show up with a real reason. She continued to think as she peeled herself from running outfit in her bathroom. Had a cop been involved? Turning on the tap, she wondered if Olivia would be at the crime scene as well, but she quickly stopped herself. Lately, it seemed as if her thoughts had come down with a case of 'Benson fever'. Not that she was complaining much.

After 10 minutes, she reemerged from the cubicle. Dressing in dark black jeans and a crème sweater, the Georgian detective quickly strapped her gun to its holster on her belt. Not having time to dry her hair, but also not wanting a cold, Amanda slipped a grey beanie onto her damp blonde hair. Olivia never left her mind for a second as she exited her apartment.

_.x._

Olivia Benson had seen her share of especially heinous and despicable crimes, that's what almost 13 years working at SVU will do to you, but she never had she came across something this disturbing.

"What the hell happened?" Amanda's southern accent rang through Olivia's ears, bringing her out her thoughts. Olivia looked back at Amanda. Their gaze met for a while, but once Olivia noticed it was becoming too long, she averted her eyes back to crime scene in front of her.

Melinda Warner, along with several other CSU technicians littered the scene at hand. Tucker and another IAB agent watched from afar. Amanda still didn't know why they were even here. They all took up space inside of Stefani Streletti and Sabrina Southerlyn's living room. Stefani's body lay dead from and obvious gunshot wound to the stomach. The horrific detail was the blood splatter everywhere. It seemed like every inch of the white and silver decorated apartment was drenched in red paint. Most décor items were glass; they now lay broken across floors. The blood red against white furniture was a scary contrast.

"Stefani Streletti and Sabrina Southerlyn. Stefani's cause of death is apparent GSW to the stomach." Melinda Warner began as she took one more picture of the disaster area. "But all this blood says otherwise."

"And Sabrina?" Olivia asked. She had to get her eyes away from Stefani's open blue eyes.

The two detectives followed Melinda to the larger bedroom in the loft. Amanda's blue eyes immediately met with a lifeless bloody mesh of what she had to guess used to be Sabrina Southerlyn. The only thing that could be told was that Sabrina was a blonde. The bedroom was just as bloody as the living. But at least this one had a reason. The white sheets of the bed looked pure red.

"Good lord." Amanda sighed. This had to be personal.

"My gut tells me." Olivia began picking up a non-damaged framed photo of the dresser. "They knew each other _really _well." The senior detective handed to frame over to Amanda. The silver engraved frame held a picture of both victims hugging and smiling as if they were longtime friends.

"It still doesn't help answer why Tucker and his vermin have decided to infect the building." Amanda's gloved hand returned the photo back to its original place.

Olivia let out a small laugh. "One of homicide's prosecutors is Serena Southerlyn. I'm just gonna out on a limb here and say Sabrina is related to her." Olivia and Serena have met before, and even went to dinner together under the company of Alex. They were friends, though Olivia hadn't heard from Serena in a while. Nor had Alex mentioned the blonde prosecutor.

"Serena Southerlyn. Sounds familiar." Amanda continued looking over the crime scene, until Nick entered.

"Hey, Cragen wants you two down at the precinct, ASAP." Nick quickly said before exiting the room. Amanda and Olivia sent each confused looks before following Amaro.

_.x._

The rain had really started coming down and turned into a full blown storm, the wind blew harshly and the streets were beginning to flood by the time Olivia exited the 1-6th precinct late that afternoon. With Tucker on them like fleas, there was very little the squad could do that Sunday. She had only been outside for all of 5 seconds and she was already soaked to the bone with rain. Nick and Fin opted to stay in the precinct to finish the shitload of paperwork they'd neglected since May. Amanda left at around 2, mainly because she has a knack for finishing paperwork the same week she gets it.

It would take too long to walk to the subway, then walk the 3 blocks to her apartment and by that time, Benson swore she would've been dead from hypothermia. She entertained the thought of catching a cab, but not a signal one was in sight. And she was **not** going back inside the precinct. Who knows how long she would be stuck there anyway? The way this storm was going, it wasn't stopping any time soon.

Olivia searched the vass expanse of her brain for any place she could walk to, that wouldn't mean her freezing to death. A strange and risky thought entered her mind. She couldn't go there. She just couldn't. But the cold got the better of her and she soon found herself beginning to walk 3 blocks to her destination.

_.x._

"I'm not arguing with you mom, I just don't want to go to Atlanta, and you know why." Amanda Rollins said into her phone. She loved her mother, she really did. But she wasn't going back to Atlanta. Bad things happened there, and she was destined to make them stay there. Amanda moved around her apartment making sure that all her windows were locked. What had been a light drizzle this morning turned into Hurricane Hanna within 9 hours. The thunder rumbled and lighting roared across Manhattan's skies.

Amanda had seen plenty of hurricanes and storms in her life time. Georgia was a frequent host to them. Rain, thunder, and wind didn't scare the blonde. She had played soccer in the rain with friends before when she was little. She had thrown mud at her sister the next morning of a storm. She had even twirled around in the wind. Sounds like a happy child, right?

Amanda's childhood memories were stopped short by a knock at her door. "Mom, I'm gonna have to call you back." Amanda's mother's drawled accent said a quick goodbye and that was the end of their conversation.

"Who is it?" Amanda asked the mystery person.

"Guess."

Rollins undid her chain and the deadbolt on her door to find a shivering and soaked Olivia Benson. With her jeans soaked and her chocolate strands of clinging to her face, stood Olivia in front of Amanda. Amanda had to blink a few to make sure she was seeing it correctly. "Liv?" Amanda called out. Olivia was sure she looked like a wet rat. She could feel the furious blush upon her face. "Please, come in."

Olivia had never seen the inside of Amanda's apartment. But she had a few ideas at what it looked like just by knowing the beautiful blonde. Variants of green, brown and white decorated the spacious apartment. The walls were painted a light brown which accented the dark wooden floors. A kitchen was too her left along with what she could tell was the bathroom and a hallway was to her right. In front of her was a crème couch, glass coffee table and a television set.

"Sorry for showing up like this. The rain was too hard to walk in and I thought of you. But not as you know like that. I'm rambling; maybe I should just shut up." Olivia said as she took in the place.

"It's alright, Liv." Amanda took a moment to look at Olivia, only making the brunette blush more. "I have some sweats you could probably fit. Although I do warn you, the shirt may be a little tight." She smiled at the end. The same beautiful smile Olivia stared at every day.

"Oh, Amanda." Olivia began to object. "You don't have to do that."

"You're right, I don't. But I want to." Amanda smiled again and Liv was sure she would collapse from the gesture. Olivia didn't say anymore as Amanda padded her way across the living towards her bedroom to retrieve the clothing.

The senior detective let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding as her eyes focus on a hallway table next to her. Framed photos took up the wooden surface. The older woman smiled when she saw photos of Amanda smiling happily. Her eyes landed on a photo of Amanda and a tall brunette and blue eyed man. They were next to each other smiling. As she looked around more, she saw the same man in different photos.

"See something interesting?" Amanda's voice caused Olivia to jump. "Did I scare you?"

Noticing the sweats and towels in Amanda hand, Olivia answered. "Sorry, you just look really…happy in these photos. I mean, not that you don't look happy any other time. I just… I'll shut up now."

Amanda let out a laugh. "Honestly, my mother decorated this place. I never really looked at those photos." She handed over the sweats. "You can take a shower if you so please. Bathroom's right there."

"Thanks, Amanda."

"No problem." Amanda smiled, and this time, Olivia returned the gesture.

Amanda had a problem. Well, no, make those _problems._

First, her gambling addiction still tried to take her over at times.

Second, she develops this woman crush on her co-worker, one that is apparently straight.

And let's not forget that said crush is now in her bathroom, _changing_. The dangerous thought of Olivia Benson, in her bathroom, covered in rain, naked, crossed Amanda's mind. But she quickly got rid of it. Amanda felt like a little schoolgirl falling in love with the 'boy' next door. Only she wasn't in school, this wasn't a movie, it wasn't a boy and Olivia was much closer than next door. The last few months she had been practicing trying to get her little crush tamed. They were colleagues, nothing more. It can't become anything more, and it won't. Amanda was confident in that.

With the hurricane going on outside, Olivia could be staying here till it passed. This worried Amanda. It wouldn't be such a problem if Amanda didn't find Olivia so...attracting. No, she was a grown woman. She could definitely keep her hands to herself.

Amanda Rollins was confident she could last a few days alone with Olivia Benson. It shouldn't be _that_ hard.

Right?


	2. Chapter 2

_With my words, across your face, _

_You're making up stories of your own. _

_Little bits of white paper, _

_In pockets deeper than you know_

_.x._

Olivia Benson took a generous sip of the tea Amanda had given her. The mug rested in between her lips as her eyes looked around Amanda's apartment once again. The Georgian detective had left the room to call her mother back. After only being here for about 2 hours, Olivia already had so many questions. It wasn't like this was new. Ever since Amanda had arrived a little over 2 years ago, she had been a closed book, only giving away pages when absolutely necessary. Even then, it was like the pages were encrypted. She wished she knew the blonde more. There was just something so intriguing about her. All Olivia knew about her was she was from Atlanta, she had a gambling addiction, and she had a sister. That's really not enough to base a friendship off of.

The sweats Amanda had allowed Liv to borrow fit perfectly. True to her word, the shirt was a little tight, but Olivia didn't mind. When she had first entered Amanda's apartment, the younger woman's scent hit her. It was a sweet smell, but with a little spice to it. And now that Olivia was wearing Amanda's clothes, she felt baked in it.

Amanda reentered the room with her cellphone in hand. The conversation with her mother had gone well, but she still wasn't visiting Atlanta. Although she didn't dare tell her mother this but Amanda figured the next time she went to Atlanta; it would be to her mother's funeral. Even then, she'll try everything in her power to have her mother buried in New York.

Atlanta wasn't her home any more, New York was.

"Amanda?" Olivia waved a hand in front of Amanda's face. Amanda had rounded the kitchen island, but didn't say anything.

"Oh, sorry. I kinda zoned out." Amanda took a sip of her lukewarm tea.

"You and your mother. I'm guessing you two are close?" The brunette was testing her boundaries with Amanda. She didn't want to come off prying, but she did want to learn.

"Yeah, she was kinda disappointed when I moved but she has my sister to try and mold." Amanda chuckled. "How about yours? You two close?"

Olivia should've seen this coming. "Uh no. We never got along."

Seeing the look on Olivia's face, Amanda didn't press asking why. Olivia would tell when she felt comfortable. "I'm sorry to hear that. My mother and I got along perfectly until I was teenager. But she's managed to get over herself."

"I guess every family's different." Olivia stated. She watched Amanda pick up their two empty coffee mugs and place them in the sink. Before either woman could pick up conversation again, Olivia's phone rang.

"What's up, Fin?" Olivia answered her phone and draped her long brown hair over one shoulder.

"_Did you get home alright? Mr. Weatherman says it's a full blown storm out there."_

"I left the precinct a good 2 hours ago; you're just now calling to check on my well-being?" She heard Amanda snicker, but Olivia didn't look up.

"_Yeah well…Cragen's been hauling my ass to finish this paperwork. Oh, and have you heard from Amanda?" _

"She's right in front of me." Olivia finally looks up and smiles at Amanda.

"_Wish her a happy birthday, Liv."_ Before Olivia can say anymore, Fin hangs up the phone. Amanda raised her eyebrows at Olivia, whose gaze was stuck on her.

"Earth to Benson?" Amanda drawled.

"More like happy birthday, Amanda." Olivia forced a smile, mainly because she was slightly ashamed that she didn't know it was Amanda's birthday. Wait, wasn't it Brian's birthday last week? Oh well.

Amanda rolled her eyes. "I'm gonna kill Fin."

The older of the two slide from off the island barstool and positioned herself in front of Amanda. "Why? It's nothing wrong with it being your birthday."

Amanda cleared her throat. She could smell the last remaining bits of Olivia's perfume. If Amanda took one more step forward, they would really be face to face then. It took every bit of willpower Amanda had to not just take that step forward and see what Olivia's lips felt like. Thank god she was learning to resist any inappropriate urges, because she wouldn't be able to face the consequences of kissing Olivia. The rejection, the awkwardness and the confusion. _She's in a relationship with Cassidy. She's happy. Don't go screwing things up, Amanda._

"Wait, Fin only told you it was birthday?" Amanda wanted to know.

Olivia made a perplexed face. "Yes, why? Is there something else I don't know about Amanda?" A half smile broke out on her face.

"Trust, there are a lot of things you don't know about me."

_.x._

Olivia reflected on Amanda's words for what she thought was the 100th time that day. She always knew Amanda had a dark side. The blonde had mentioned she's been assaulted, but after more than a decade of being a Special Victims Unit detective, Olivia could tell it was more than that. Way more. But Olivia knew better than to pry, having learned that lesson already. The rain refused to make any effort to lighten up and give the dark Manhattan streets some mercy. What seemed like marble sized rain drops crashed against Amanda's window. With it now being a little after 5 pm, the sun had set, leaving the expanse of Amanda's living room to be lit by a tall floor lamp and two side table ones as well.

Olivia laughed at the situation in her head.

Here she was, in the woman she had a crush on apartment, seeking the shelter from a massive hurricane. And let's not forget to mention Olivia's having a hard time keeping her eyes off Amanda's rear. It was getting extremely difficult with Amanda leaning over digging through her cabinets below. A huge blush of scarlet decorated Olivia's cheeks when Amanda turned back around.

"Hey, catch." The younger woman said throwing something large and yellow towards Olivia.

Although caught off guard, Olivia caught it from her seat. It was a battery powered flashlight. Olivia placed the metal item on the kitchen counter. "Nice thinking."

"The power's bound to go out any minute now—" Amanda stopped. As if on a precise cue, the lights flickered for a steady minute before returning to their normal mode. "Well, glad to know I was right about that." Amanda pulled out a similar flashlight. The brunette let out a small laugh that was meant to stay in her head.

Amanda smiled at her curiously. "What's so funny?"

"I just would've never imagined I'd be seeking shelter from a storm in your apartment."

_Me neither_.

Blue eyes met with brown. They definitely both felt that electricity spark, and it wasn't from the lighting. Amanda tried her hardest to hide any emotions from her eyes, because God knows how much she just wanted to walk right over to Olivia and press their lips together. But Olivia already noticed that little spark behind Amanda's blue orbs, and Amanda knew it too from the soft smile tugging at her lips. It was almost as if the older detective knew _exactly_ what she was doing, like she knew exactly what Amanda was oh so desperately trying to hide. This was going to be harder than she thought. Olivia could read people like her last name. Amanda mentally scolded herself for thinking Olivia wouldn't notice.

_Just play it cool, Amanda._

"Hey, you hungry?" Amanda needed a serious distraction from Olivia's face right now.

"No, I ate before I left the precinct." Olivia answered with her blush increasing, but she kept a poker face. Hearing the news station from Amanda's TV suddenly increase in urgency, both women turned their attention towards the screen. Thomas Berkeley, also known as Channel 2's lead meteorologist stood in front of the green screen map giving an update on Hurricane Hanna.

"**Extreme** **winds coming from Cuba are being pushed up towards the entire East Coast, of course creating the level 3 storm also known as Hurricane Hanna. Residences consisting of Upper and Lower Manhattan, New Jersey, DC, Delaware, Philadelphia, Maryland, Florida, and Louisiana are advised to keep flashlights nearby, lock all doors and windows and remain inside at all costs. Residents of Georgia, Missouri and North and South Carolina are advised to seek shelter immediately, remain indoors and retreat to your basement if you have one. I repeat, seek shelter immediately, remain indoors and retreat to your basement if you have one."**

The same message began playing again, causing Olivia to look back at Amanda. She looked slightly worried, and Olivia knew it had to be about her mom.

"Are you sure you mom is safe, Amanda?" Olivia thought about placing a delicate hand on Amanda's shoulder as a way to comfort the younger woman, but after what just went on in the blonde's kitchen, she decided against it. The last thing they needed was for this whole situation to get anymore awkward.

"Yeah. I guess I'm just being paranoid." Amanda made her way over to her couch and gently settled her body on the cushions. Truth be told, she wasn't worried; she was petrified. Her mother and her step-dad was the only family she felt she had left. Except, her step-dad was safe in the UK on a business trip. Jack had been a make-shift father figure to her when her biological father disappeared. Jack taught her to ride a bike; Jack was the one who helped her with her homework. It seemed silly that now at the age of 34 that she felt like she finally had a family.

Olivia let out a sigh and sat down on next to Amanda. "I don't think you're being paranoid. Although my mother and I had our difficulties, I would do anything for her if she was still alive." Olivia sent her a warm smile.

"What happened to her?" Amanda knew next to nothing on the Benson family. Besides learning Olivia was the product of a rape from Fin, she had nothing to compare to.

Olivia sucked in a deep breath. She never prepared herself to confess something like this to Amanda, especially under _these_ circumstances. "She was a nasty drunk. One day…She got so dunk she fell to her death on a subway platform back in 2000." Confessing things to Amanda felt natural all of a sudden.

Amanda reached her hand out to cover Olivia's. Her touch seemed to set Olivia's skin ablaze. "I'm so sorry to hear that, Liv."

"Its fine, I've gotten over it." Olivia removed her hand from underneath Amanda's, causing the younger woman lips to down turn. The two settled into a slightly awkward silence, not sure where to pick up conversation, but suddenly, Olivia asked Amanda's a question she's kept inside since the Eskas case.

"Amanda, what happened in Atlanta?" She managed to keep her tone soft, but not the one she used to talk to victims. Olivia would want use any tone but that one. The blonde looked away from Olivia and turned her body forward.

"Nothing." Amanda answered. Olivia let out a sigh. On one hand, she was glad Amanda didn't yell at her, on the other, she knew she had no right to pry. But if something bad happened, Olivia felt the need to know.

"Amanda, I can tell it was more than nothing." Olivia went against her common sense and layed her hand on Amanda's shoulder. Surprising, Amanda let it stay there.

"Why do you care anyway? Shit happens. Let's just leave it at that." Amanda nodded her head as if to reassure herself that nothing happened.

"I care because I can see it's affecting you. You can't even go back to Atlanta because of what happened there, right?"

Amanda lifted her head and looked at Olivia, and there she was, with her dark brown waves up in a ponytail, a sympathetic smile on her face and the one thing Amanda couldn't ignore even if she tried; her hand on Amanda's shoulder. Their proximity was close, beyond any professional level. Had Olivia moved any closer, they would be centimeters apart. The memory of everything that happened in Atlanta moved through Amanda's mind in a blur. _Should I just tell her?_

Having to walk through hell and high water more than once caused Amanda to build this castle stone wall around herself. Not letting anyone in. But for some reason, she felt like let go of her walls for Olivia. The blonde's focus went away from Olivia to notice any movement from the senior detective.

_Wait, was she leaning in?_

So much for confidence.

* * *

**A/N: All the guest reviews, and member reviews made me smile. Hope I can continue to please you :)**


	3. Chapter 3

_I'll be there with you 'til the end's upon us__  
_

_when our lives collide_

_I know you will_

_Your stare sees directly through me_

_.x._

Phenomenal.

That's the word Amanda would use to describe how Olivia's lips against her own felt—how _she_ felt. With a swipe of the older woman's tongue, that's all it took. It felt like a million different voices were screaming inside of Amanda's head. Each had a different opinion, a different reason, a different explanation. But Amanda didn't listen to a single one. Olivia gently leaned forward, causing Amanda to lie on her back on the couch below. No longer was Olivia's hand on her shoulder, it held it stance caressing Amanda's face. Entangling her fingers in Olivia's chestnut locks, Amanda let the older woman overrule her. A shocking realization hit Amanda and suddenly, the blonde sat up disconnecting herself from Olivia.

Olivia was in shock. What the hell had she done? God, she didn't know if Amanda was even gay. Even then, Olivia clearly wasn't. She was in a relationship with Brian.

Brian.

For the first time since she stepped inside Amanda's apartment a good few hours ago, her boyfriend entered her mind. Her loving, caring boyfriend who had stood by her through all her hell. But the same boyfriend who spent days, if not weeks, undercover doing God knows what. The same boyfriend who had been losing feeling for. Things between her and Cassidy had started to take a downhill slope, but it didn't bother Olivia that much. She saw this coming. It was normal for her. Relationships never went in the right direction. But right now, in Amanda's apartment, she felt like 'they' would work.

Somewhere in the midst of their 'session', the lights in the apartment had completely gone off, leaving them to the sound of harsh rain and winds and the sight of each other in the darkness.

"Oh my god, Amanda. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that." Olivia quickly said as soon as Amanda pulled away.

Their proximity, and a candle in the far corner allowed for them to see each other's faces, and the fire behind Amanda's blue orbs was quite the sight to see. The blonde didn't say anything; she simply removed herself from her couch. She had a million things to say, but nothing seemed like the _right_ thing to say. She did a one eighty to face Olivia.

"I'll tell you what happened in Atlanta. But you tell _no one_. It doesn't leave this room, and it sure as hell ain't leaving this apartment." Amanda drawled. Her southern accent only made an appearance when she sad, frustrated or really confused. For some reason, she felt all three.

Olivia was confused at how Amanda was acting, but she knew better than to ask why. She nodded her head in the darkness and Amanda took a seat on the opposite side of her couch. The younger woman pulled her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her knees, avoiding eye contact. First, she had kissed Olivia, now she was about to spill her biggest secret to her.

"W-We had cracked this really large case with Jersey's SVU squad that same day. Two of the detectives came with our squad out to this bar to celebrate. One male, one female. Justin Pierson and Mila Sato. Justin was a sleaze, you could tell as soon as you saw him. He kept hitting on his partner, Mila. After all, he had been drunk off his ass. She was doing a really good job of ignoring him—but then she left to go to the restroom, h-he followed her." Olivia noticed how Amanda squeezed her legs tighter to her chest, but didn't stop.

"A-After a while, I got a bad feeling so I followed them." Amanda paused for a moment, wondering how exactly to tell the next part. "Mila was screaming, telling him to get o-off of her. When I opened the bathroom door, he had her face forward into the wall. He was raping her. I knew it immediately."

Olivia couldn't believe that something like this happened, drunk or not, your partner is supposed to look out for you. It sickened her.

"I pulled my gun on him, he pulled his own on Mila, with this evil smile on his face. 'We're gonna play a game' was what he had said. He locked us both in the bathroom. You can guess what happened after that." Amanda had stopped talking, but she started crying. Olivia immediately pulled the younger woman in her arms.

"He made her watch." Amanda said with her head buried deep into Olivia's shoulder. "But she saved my life."

"How?" This was what Olivia asked after Amanda had calmed down.

"She managed to get the gun away from Justin, shot him and he lived, sadly. He would've killed us, I knew it." Amanda answered softly. Everyone in Atlanta knew the same night, her mother knew, her sister knew, her Captain knew, her partner knew. Even her old girlfriend back in Atlanta knew. She couldn't stand to face any of them. Mila went back to Jersey, and from what she heard, is living a normal life. Amanda felt like she would never be able to repay Sato for saving her life. She never got the chance, either.

"I'm so sorry, Amanda. I had no idea." Olivia said sympathetically.

"But the worst part is, he never got prosecuted. Never did any jail time. They let that bastard walk." Amanda squeezed her eyes shut tightly with anger. That's why she had to leave Atlanta; she couldn't stand the looks of pity from nearly everyone she knew. It hurt. It hurt too much.

The senior detective slowly lifted Amanda's chin up with her fingers. "I'm sorry that happened to you. I know that there is probably nothing I can do to make it better, but I promise you won't have to go through it alone." Amanda sent her a sad smile as Olivia wiped away the remaining bits of Amanda's tears. The brunette placed a light kiss on Amanda's lips, but pulled away when she received no response from Amanda.

"I-I don't this is a good idea." She began softly. "As much as I hate the bastard, I can't do this to Cassidy. You shouldn't just be doing this out of pity. I-I can handle rejection."

Olivia couldn't lie; Amanda's words tugged at her heart. But she understood where the blonde was coming from. "Cassidy and I… aren't exactly 'Cassidy and I' anymore. What we had back in 99' has long since faded." She let out a sigh. "I was straight, until you came along. Things were different."

Much to Olivia's surprise, Amanda started laughing. "What's so funny?" But Olivia was just happy to see Amanda genuinely smile, especially after the conversation they had previously.

"The first day I was there, you couldn't get rid of me any faster." Amanda pointed out recalling the day in her head.

Olivia pouted. "I had to brief the captain!"

"You thought I was from Dallas." Amanda continued laughing as she argued her point.

"Dallas, Georgia, what's the difference?" Olivia rolled her eyes playfully.

Amanda's eyes widened. "Oh you did _not_ just say that!"

_.x._

Nighttime began a quick problem as the women of SVU found themselves too exhausted to continue any conversation. Olivia learned knew she had learned more about Amanda in the last few hours than she had in the last few years. Amanda on the other hand noted in her mind which things weren't exactly good things to talk about with Olivia. For example, the brunette's family, childhood and former partner were basically off limits, and it didn't upset Amanda in the slightest. Although she would've preferred to learn more about said 'badass Benson'. Whilst they had been talking, Amanda managed to light more candles around her living room, bathroom and hallway. That way they could actual move around the apartment without having to guess what every object was. Surprisingly, Olivia was somewhat scared of the dark. This was a piece of information she all but hesitantly released to Amanda, who promised not to laugh or tell anyone else.

But now it ten minutes to 11 and Olivia was ready to face any argument Amanda threw at her on the whole 'bedroom' situation.

"I can take the couch." Olivia said, hoping her tone sounded stronger than she felt. After realizing she hadn't received a response, she looked over to Amanda's figure.

The blonde was curled up on her side against the armrest of the couch. She had her hand supporting her head and her knees halfway up to her chest. The loose strands of hair from her ponytail fell around her face. Her eyelids were shut tight, indicating Amanda was most likely indeed asleep.

Olivia smiled, mainly because she couldn't remember the last time she had saw Amanda so relaxed. As if the ice mask she bridged her face with came down, all while she slept. It was quite the sight to see. And if Olivia wasn't mistaken, she could see the natural upturn of Amanda's lips, which made it seem as if she was always smiling.

"You know, if you take a picture it'll last longer." Amanda's voice brought Olivia out her trance. Amanda was actually awake.

"Sorry." Olivia prayed that the light was low enough for Amanda to not be able to see her blush.

"No need to be sorry." The younger of the two smiled standing up off her couch. The smile faded quickly as she began saying something else. "About what I told you happened in Atlanta…." She looked around her apartment nervously.

"Don't worry. I won't tell anyone. It'll stay between you and me."

Amanda met Olivia's gaze. "Cragen knows, and Fin only knows a few details."

"I understand." Olivia pulled the blonde in for a hug. Amanda was grateful for the heat radiating off Olivia. Despite the feeling to kiss her right then and there, Amanda pulled away from the hug.

"We should get some sleep. The sooner we'll be to assess the damage." Amanda announced, immediately missing the warmth. _Control yourself Rollins!_

"I'll take the couch." Olivia said. She noticed how tired Amanda seemed, and the senior detective was grateful for that. That way, Amanda would be too tired to argue.

Good.

Benson managed to coax a half-sleep blonde into her bedroom and then retreated to the living room to try and get some sleep.

_.x._

Olivia was aroused from her sleep around 3 am by the sounds of screaming and crying. She was confused at first as to where she was. But once she looked around the apartment she was in, she remembered everything. From showing up at Amanda's apartment to kissing her. The rain and wind harsh outside wasn't enough to drown out the screams and cries. Quickly pulling herself off the comfortable couch, Olivia followed the sounds towards Amanda's bedroom. When she opened the door, she found Amanda kicking and crying through a nightmare.

"Amanda. Calm down." The brunette sat down next to the restless figure and grabbed both of Amanda's wrists to prevent the blonde from hurting herself—or Olivia. "Honey, wake up, It's just a dream."

With tears streaming down her face, Amanda awoke from her nightmare. She hadn't had a nightmare in almost 2 years. Maybe retelling her story brought it back. She didn't like that. Just when she thought she was over this, it came back to haunt her. Then Amanda noticed Olivia's concerned face next to her.

"You're safe, Amanda. You're in your apartment." Olivia reassured stroking Amanda's arm. After seeing she had calmed down, Olivia began to exit the bedroom.

"Liv."

Benson turned back around at Amanda's soft voice. "Yeah?"

"This is a stupid thing to ask but…will you stay here, with me?" Amanda avoided Olivia's gaze once again. Her she was, a grown woman, afraid to be alone in her own bedroom. It only made her pity herself more.

Olivia's face held a smile mixed with sympathy and doubt, but yet, she crossed back over to the bed. "It's not a stupid thing to ask at all."

* * *

**A/N: Once I went back over this, I realized I might've rushed things a bit. What you think? Good or Bad?**


	4. Chapter 4

_In my mind, in my head, _

_this is where we all came from_

_the dreams we had, the love we shared, _

_this is what we're waiting for_

_.x._

The miniature heart attack Olivia had the next morning waking up next to Amanda wasn't enough to stop her from smiling at the beautiful sight in front of her. For a brief moment, she thought that she had indeed slept with Amanda, but as soon as the thought entered, it disappeared. _What is going on? _Olivia did not like having conflicted feelings. She didn't like it at all. Her head said to be with Brian, and to stop fantasying of a woman she couldn't have. But her heart screamed Amanda. So she propped head on her elbow and watched Amanda sleep. The grey-ish sunlight from the window shined on Amanda perfectly, but the rain and clouds blocked any actual sun. Olivia needed to get her head straight. Unofficially, she and Brian were over. But something still felt wrong, she couldn't figure out what.

The senior detective was certain Amanda being raped had nothing whatsoever to do with it. In her opinion, Amanda was one of the bravest, strongest, and courageous women she had ever met. Olivia reached a hesitant hand out from underneath her head and delicately stroked Amanda's face. It was really cute how Amanda seemed to lean her head forward at the touch.

_I think I love you_

A few minutes after Benson started caressing Amanda's face, the younger woman's blue eyes fluttered open. The two smiled at each other. Amanda was beyond grateful for having Olivia here with her right now. It was like some change between the two, an unknown feeling.

"Thank you, for…you know." Amanda said after Olivia removed her hand from her face.

"It's okay, Amanda. I'm just glad you're okay." She replied.

Amanda sighed. "I'll never be 'okay'. I can only get better."

_.x._

Olivia found some type of pleasure in watching the rain splash against the windows, the lighting zip across the sky and the thunder roar in nearly all parts of New York. God, she had no idea what to do. She knew Amanda was probably only using her as some type of rebound from Brian; but that wasn't the case. Deep down inside, Olivia knew exactly what was going on here; she had fallen in love with Amanda Rollins.

But, in spite of how she felt; she really only wanted for Amanda to be happy.

Amanda however totally ignored everything that had just happened in her bedroom and started talking about work. "So this new case, what do you think happened?" Olivia turned around from the window to find Amanda pouring tea into two mugs.

Upon seeing the two raised eyebrows, Amanda explained. "The power came back on at some time in the night. I decided to take advantage."

"Well, we did find out that most of Streletti's family was either German or Sicilian mob, Sabrina's mother was an ADA. I can see how they could've crossed paths." Olivia answered calmly as she slid into the island stool in front of Amanda. Amanda nodded her head in understanding. They settled into comfortable silence for a few minutes sipping on the raspberry tea Amanda was able to make.

"That doesn't explain how they ended up friends. No mother like Serena would want her daughter around the people she helped put in jail." Amanda explained.

"Maybe Stefani wasn't like her family." Olivia said.

Amanda sighed. "Still, I have a feeling that IAB is gonna make us drop this case once they realize what Stefani's family was all about." Amanda pondered on the case some more until she heard her phone ringing from on her coffee table

"Roll—"She couldn't even get her name out, because the voice on the other end cut her off immediately.

"_Amanda, have you heard from your mother?" _The blonde swore she had never heard Jack so worried, this only worried her; which was not what she needed right now. Amanda looked back at Olivia, who carried a similar expression of confusion. Amanda noticed the little crease right between Olivia's eyebrows whenever she was worried or confused.

_Focus, Rollins!_

"No I haven't. Is everything okay? Have you called her?" Amanda asked averting her eyes from Olivia and tapping her thumb lightly on the counter top as a distraction.

"_I've tried almost 15 times. It's worrying the hell out of me. I heard about the storm; are you okay?" _Jack asked.

'Yeah, everything's okay except for the fact I'm stuck in an apartment alone with someone I can't be with, but we've basically just slept together. Everything's just peachy.'

Amanda decided to keep that little thought to herself for now. "I'm fine. No need to worry about me. Service is probably pretty bad down there. I'm sure she's fine. I'll try calling her."

"_I hope she's okay." _

"She probably is fine. I'll talk to you later."

"_Take care, Amanda."_

_.x._

"Did you know your dad?"

Olivia, at this point of them working together for about three years; had gotten used to Amanda's curiosity, but this one question threw 'Badass Benson' for a loop. She didn't even know how to answer that. God, she needed to get out of here. First, she kissed Amanda, now she was going to have to basically give out her whole like story to her. The former she had no problem with. She'd do it a million times over. It only made things more complicated. To an outside person, all of this probably seemed really simplex. But it wasn't because an outside person didn't know the whole story. The whole story about how Brian stuck with her through everything, about how the brunette had never even dated women before or even about how she had been in a similar position before years ago.

"Um, Earth to Benson?" Amanda waved a hand in front of Olivia's face after sitting there for 5 minutes zoned out.

"Oh I'm sorry, what did you say?" Olivia blinked even though she had already heard Amanda.

"I asked, did you know your dad?" Amanda repeated re taking her seat back on the island stool.

"In a sense, I did." The senior detective answered avoiding Amanda's blue eyes. She could still see Amanda's eyebrows raised and continued on. She let out a sigh. "I mean, I know who he is, I just never spent much time around him."

Seeing the older woman's discomfort, Amanda placed her left hand over Olivia's. "Liv, calm down, I know." Because of Amanda once again touching her hand, Olivia blushed before answering.

"Know what?"

"About your dad; who he really is."

Liv laughed slightly. "Who doesn't?"

"You aren't mad that I know?" Amanda asked astonished. Normally, she would've expected an enraged Benson, since Olivia wasn't the type of person to have other people know about her childhood or personal life. Olivia sent her a less worried smile.

"I've closed that chapter in my life along time ago when I met my brother." Seeing Amanda raise her eyebrows, Olivia realized this was something she didn't know. "That's a whole other story, blondie."

Amanda titled her head to the side slightly. "Blondie?" Olivia laughed at the question.

"Yes, I'm allowed to call you blondie based on your intelligence." The older of the two detectives answered. And in that moment, when Amanda used her right hand to playfully punch Olivia on the shoulder, both women realized, Amanda's left was still covering Olivia's. Olivia sensed the blonde's discomfort with this, and carefully slid her hand out from underneath Amanda's palm while clearing her throat. Okay, now it was awkward. Both detectives opened their mouths to say something.

"You go first." The younger insisted.

"Um," Olivia began. "You're probably not gonna wanna hear it."

"Try me."

"Amanda, how do _you _feel? About this?"

There was a million ways Amanda could've answered, but she just couldn't find the right thing to say. She wanted to answer Olivia's question, but for some reason; she felt she couldn't. Honestly; she wanted them to be a 'them' but she knew, deep down, that that wasn't a good idea. She didn't want to complicate things on the job, but she also wanted Olivia to be happy. No matter what it took. The blonde sighed heavily.

"I'm afraid I don't exactly understand the question detective." Amanda said a little nervously. How she answered this question could change a lot of things; for better or for worse.

"Yes, you do, Amanda. You just don't want to answer my question." Olivia had to raise her voice a little because of the loud claps of thunder and harsh rains outside. Amanda sighed again.

"I'll make you a deal." Amanda said, hoping that this way, both of them would get the answers they wanted.

"A deal?" Olivia echoed confusingly.

"A deal." Amanda repeated. "A question for a question."

"Um, okay. You first."

"What happened with you and Cassidy?"

Olivia should have seen this coming. Amanda was a detective after all. She would have sensed something off about the mention of Brian's name. "He…um, he cheated on me."

"Well that was very blunt." Amanda pointed out. "But, I'm really sorry to hear that. Just don't let Nick hear it. I think he'd get bored enough to go kick Cassidy's ass for doing that to you." Somehow, Amanda's face remained calm and reassuring although her blood was boiling that Cassidy would do that.

Olivia laughed a little at the thought. "Yeah, it's funny though how he told me. It had been going on for weeks, and I had no clue. I mean, I knew that things were falling apart lately but, not that bad."

Amanda nodded in understanding. "So, whose idea was it to start things back up?"

"Um, it was my idea. Obviously a very bad one at that." The brunette said sourly.

"You can't blame yourself, Olivia. Some people…just aren't meant to be." Amanda added.

Olivia stared at her hands. For some odd reason, Brian cheating on her did not affect her as much as she thought it should have. This just goes to show, he was only there to fill a hole, and also to show people that Olivia Benson could still love. "You don't think 'us' would be a good idea, do you?"

"Olivia," The younger woman began, purposely using the senior detective's first name. "Honestly, it's not about what I think, because 'this', whatever happened yesterday and whatever you've been feeling since I got here; it's not going to go away. I'm terrified to try and feel anything for anyone anymore. But for some reason, you're different. I've told you things that not even my mother knows, okay. But don't tell her that 'cause she still thinks she can ground me at 35."

A small ghost of a smile on Olivia's face made a similar one mimic on Amanda's

A bright zip of lightning illuminated the living room, lighting up both their faces.

"If you want, you can be my little secret." Olivia proposed with a smile after moments of silence, although she was quite serious.

Amanda laughed. "Your little secret? Hmm, I'll take you up on that offer."

* * *

**Will they get a happy ending? Also, I had _planned_ to stop this 'story' here. **

**But I thought maybe some people might want to see the aftermath of this new found 'secret'? So, should I continue, or stop it here before I torture these characters? **


	5. Chapter 5

_Round in circles _

_Here we go_

_With the highest highs _

_And the lowest lows_

_.x._

Secrets. They are quite the dangerous things when you think about, but then you realize; everyone has them. So does that make everyone dangerous? Secrets vary in danger. It could go from kissing your best friend, to having a double life as a wealthy business owner in Russia. Olivia Benson wasn't sure where to place her 'secret'. Although she must admit, sneaking around with Amanda was dangerous; it wouldn't be a big deal to others. At least that's what she hoped. But quite frankly, she didn't care. Amanda helped her see a new to herself, and she loved it.

The two hadn't officially started their little 'relationship' until Brian Cassidy was officially out of Olivia's apartment and life, which was a little over a month ago. That way nothing would be able to come back to hurt Amanda if and when their relationship came out. Now, in the middle of September, sneaking around with each other was actually fun. The two were yet to be intimate with each other, but it perfectly fine with Olivia and Amanda. No one knew, at least so they thought.

But Fin was a very smart person, and he was a detective. He noticed a new sparkle in Olivia's eyes that had been gone since Elliot left, along with a matching thousand-watt smile. Amanda on the other hand, just looked more relaxed. That metal ice wall the younger woman sheltered herself was gone. Of course, with Amanda being his partner, she had already disclosed to him that she was gay after he told her about his gay son. It actually strengthened their partnership for the better. Fin had his theories on what was going on, but he didn't say a word.

Nick Amaro closed his last manila folder with a smile of tired victory. There had been a flow of open-shut cases; leaving the SVU squad was a lot of paperwork. He loved over at Olivia, who was actually smiling while doing her paperwork. Like Fin, Amaro had his assumptions. But Nick could care less. He was just happy to see Olivia happy again.

"I'm heading out. Catching the train to DC tomorrow for Zara's birthday." Nick announced to his partner as he stood up, grabbing his coat of the back of his chair.

"That's good. How old is she now, 6?" Olivia asked. Their voices echoed off the empty precinct walls. Amanda was forced to go home by Cragen and Fin after a suspect managed to sucker punch her in the nose. And Fin was out on a dinner with his son, and son in law, Alejandro.

"Yeah. I got her an iPad so we can Skype more often." Nick replied.

Olivia nodded her head in understanding. "Have a good weekend." Nick replied the same and exited the precinct.

A few minutes later, a woman with long black hair entered the precinct. A little girl, probably around 3 with equally long black hair, held onto the woman's hand. With her other hand, she held a small stuffed rabbit. Olivia stood up and walked over to the woman, who was looking around the precinct.

"Can I help you?" Benson asked softly. The little girl, upon seeing her clutched onto her mother's leg.

"Y-Yes. I'm looked for Detective Amanda Rollins." The woman answered.

"She's left earlier today, but you may talk to me if you like." Olivia explained. She wondered why this woman would want to speak with Amanda, yet she didn't press the subject just yet.

"No, that's okay. Do you know when she will be back?" She asked patiently, although she seemed very uncomfortable.

"I can call her if you want?" This woman gave the impression she really was destined on Amanda. So Olivia was going to try her best to achieve that. The woman nodded.

"Can you tell me what your name is?" Olivia asked as she prepared to call the blonde detective.

"Mila. Mila Sato."

_.x._

Amanda Rollins did not being injured, sick or invalid in any way possible. It made her feel weak and unable to protect herself. So lying in bed with a bloody bruised nose and a headache straight from hell wasn't a part of her plans. Tylenol was helping, but she just wanted it to go away as quickly as possible so she could go to work tomorrow.

Hearing her phone ring, the blonde detective lazily grabbed her phone off her nightstand. "Rollins." She answered in a pained voice from her headache.

"Amanda, I need you down at the precinct, now." Olivia replied as softly as she can. She recognized Mila's name from Amanda had told her about her assault in Atlanta. It worried Olivia as to why Sato was in New York, and with her daughter nevertheless.

Amanda shot up in bed, which was not a very good idea. She cursed to herself in pain. "Did we catch a case?"

"You remember Mila Sato, right?" Olivia asked hesitantly.

"Oh-I-Yes, why? Olivia what's going on?"

"She's at the precinct, asking for you."

_.x._

Arriving at the precinct at half-past midnight, Amanda's eyes immediately found Olivia, the little girl and Mila sitting in a victim interrogation room. She watched as Olivia handed Mila a cup of tea. Mila looked much different from when she raped in Atlanta, she looked happier but there was worry on her face, which in turn caused Rollins to imagine the worse. The little girl next to her looked just as happy. Swinging her legs back and forth just barely touching the floor, and holding onto Mila's hand, Amanda hoped the little girl wasn't hurt. Amanda, however was anxious at what Mila was here for. Upon Amanda entering the room, the little girl repeated her actions of clutching onto Mila.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare her." Amanda swiftly apologized.

Sato sent her a small smile. "It's fine, she's just shy." Mila stood up from her seat and walked over to where Amanda was standing. "I-it's god to see you again."

"You too. Are you okay?" The detective asked somewhat awkwardly.

"I-I was told to give you a message, from Pierson." Mila replied nervously.

Amanda eyes went wide. "Mila, did he contact you?" She nodded. "What did he say?"

"He said he's watching you, and to watch your back."

* * *

**A/N: Short come-back chapter, I know. Hmm...I wonder what will happen next..**


	6. Chapter 6

_Just a friendly face_

_You can trust to be there._

_Are you afraid to be known?_

_And not be a stranger? _  
.x.

"Mila, how long have you had contact with him?" Olivia stepped in immediately. She watched concernedly as Amanda's face went rigid. She was probably back there, in that bar. Olivia didn't know what to do. She was sure she would have done something else if it was anyone else, but because this was Amanda, someone who she loved, she just couldn't do it. It was painful to imagine and even more painful now that it was thrown in their faces so abruptly.

"Has he threatened you?" Olivia asked the young woman.

"No, he has not threatened me. And I have to go." Mila answered just as quickly picking up her daughter and adjusting the small girl on her hip. Seeing that their connection was just about to walk out the door, Olivia gently placed her arm on Sato's arm.

"Mila, has he done something again?"

Mila's eyes widened at the detective. "What? No? I have to go."

"Mila—"But it was too late, Sato was already gone out the bullpen without a moment's hesitation. Letting out a sigh, Olivia looked back over at Amanda. Never in her life had Olivia seen Amanda the way she was seeing her now. The blonde's jaw was clenched shut tight, her eyes were shut and she looked as if she were about to explode. Benson moved over to her lover. She wasn't sure what to do. She couldn't form a plan in her mind, and it hurt. It hurt Olivia to think she could not do anything.

Deciding it would be best to comfort the younger woman, Olivia pulled Amanda close to her into a hug. At first, Amanda just stood there, her body rigid. After a while, her body relaxed as a tear slide down her face. She was grateful for Olivia's warmth right now. Liv sat down on the couch in the room and pulled Amanda into her lap. She allowed the Georgian detective to cry on her shoulder.

"J-Just when I think he's gone for good, he's back." Rollins mumbled as Liv absent-mindedly traces shaped onto her back. "I must've been so stupid. How did he even find out where I live, where I work?

"Amanda, this is not your fault." Amanda just buried her head further into Olivia's neck. "Hey, listen to me." The brunette lifted Amanda's chin, making her face her. "None. Of this. Is your. Fault."

Another tear rolled down Amanda's cheek. Benson quickly swiped it away with her thumb. "He's hurt you once; I'll kill him twice if he does it again." A sad smile appeared on Amanda's face.

The two sat in anxious silence. In Olivia mind, she was already coming up with ways to kill Pierson. Oh and how she planned on fulfilling them.

"I'm scared, Liv." The blonde admitted in a whisper.

"I know, but you're going to be okay. I won't let him hurt you."

_.x._

That night, Olivia stayed with Amanda at her apartment. Nervous about Pierson's threat, the brunette never left Amanda's side. She didn't hear any complaints out the normally independent blonde and didn't expect any either. Amanda, on the other hand, was more than nervous. What she really wanted to do was talk to Mila, but she knew that was not going to happen any time soon. Amanda had the idea that Pierson was manipulating her; however she didn't voice this theory to Liv. Mila was a good person, Rollins knew that. She also knew Olivia thought otherwise.

The next day, Rollins and Benson arrived at the station together early. Fin, Nick and Cragen occupied the squad room. The three men sat around Fin's desk, discussing what Amanda guessed were the Yankee's chances this year.

The senior detective cleared her throat, gathering the others' attention. "A word, in private?" Amanda had no idea what Olivia was doing, but at this point she didn't care, she just wanted her life back.

Cragen took a look at his two female detectives. He extracted himself from the guys and motioned Amanda and Olivia to his office following behind them. The squad room was dead quiet as Amaro and Fin's eyes followed the trio across the room.

"What's going on?" was the first thing Don asked when the door closed. He knew something was wrong just from the looks on the pairs' faces. Benson took a glance at Amanda silently asking from the junior detective's permission. Amanda nodded, keeping her head down.

"I'm sure you know about Justin Pierson already." As soon as the words left Olivia's mouth, a look of concern and worry flashed across the Captain's face. "And Mila Sato…" Don nodded. He scooped out Amanda, whose head was hanging down avoiding any glances.

"Yesterday evening, Sato came to the precinct looking for Amanda. Long story short, Pierson asked Sato to rely to Amanda that he was watching her."

"Where is Sato?" Cragen asked shifting his eyes to Olivia. He knew that he should've been asking how Olivia even knew about Pierson, but he didn't.

"Somewhere. She left before I could ask any questions. We can try tacking her down but…" The brunette trailed off, not knowing how to end that sentence.

"Okay." Sighed Cragen. "For now, this stays between us three. Liv, I want you to track Mila down. Arrest her if you have to. Amanda, you may not like this but I'm assigning you a protective detail."

The silent woman nodded. She was too tired to argue.

_.x._

Tracking down Mila, was probably one of the easiest yet hardest things Benson ever had to do. Cragen ordered Amanda home, then ended up sending Olivia with her to make sure the blonde was safe.

"Did you find anything?" The voice scared Olivia, causing the older woman to jump. She turned around ion her couch to find Amanda standing by the doorframe. She smiled sadly.

Olivia closed her laptop and moved over to Amanda. "You are supposed to be sleeping."

"I did, for a while." Answered the blonde. "I guess I've just gotten so used to sleeping with your arms around me, that I can't sleep without it."

"I guess we should fix that." Olivia smiled. Olivia guided Amanda back into the bedroom. The older woman removed her black jeans and decided to keep her shirt on. Crawling in next to Amanda, she wrapped her arms around the smaller woman and pulled her close. Feeling a warmth to her cold skin instantly calmed Amanda. Tracking down Sato could wait, right now, all she cared about was Amanda, and that's all that would matter to her for the rest of her life.

"Liv?" Amanda called out in the darkness a few minutes later.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you, for everything."

* * *

**A/N: Hey guys, I decided to give you guys this one short because I didn't y'all would want to wait any longer. I'm not sure when you'll see another update on anything of mines. I'm dealing with a lot of unnecessary personal bullshit. (excuse my French). It's got me in an emotional, mental and nervous wreck. Like for example, I cried today in school when a kid asked me if I wanted my lunch. It reminded me of something horrible going on in my life right now and everything's just... .**


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